you shouldnt be here, if you need to know who i am d____
j_____
s_______
w_____


June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006

alright so finally its gonna come out in black blue and white.





im attached.





yeah not many people know this, except for like a handful. not even people who are really close to me.

and the thing is, now theres this other guy.
and you know how the story goes.
same reason i dont want to change seats:
i'll forget my friends, abandon them and find new ones.
i dont want that to happen.

just like i dont want to break this relationship up by getting involved in another. i dont want to hurt anyone, especially him. because he's done so much in my life, brought me up when i was down in the dumps, lifted me up from the pits, and was just there for me all the time

and i happily took him for granted.

im sorry boy. i didnt know i was that hurtful a girl.
i know i shouldnt be asking, because i dont deserve it,
but will you forgive me?

COLOUR my world @ 9:19 PM

well well. i finally decided to get a personal blog. just to post things that have to be censored in the other or things that i hide from the rest of the world. even my parents. got the idea from jiejie. it should be more sensible than the other one, because there im just ranting non-stop. and maybe make things seem sadder/happier than it is. its time i let it all out to at least a few people i can trust, because bottling things inside doesnt seem to work for me.

so i guess i never really treasured them the times when i was still sitting with the bunch of them. all 7 of them. and now when we have to change seats, and im so isolated from all of them except for the aisle separating me and pornster [no names here]. i realise i need them and miss them so much. thanks guys for just being there for me all the time.

still, i cant believe i got scolded by beanie for that. i seriously meant every word i said. why cant she see that? i cant afford to let my grades slip. its so borderline and i cant afford to deprove. without the few people who sit beside me, how am i supposed to get through term 3? i dont wanna flunk.

another reason for this blog: i dont want people to think im a mugger. yeah i dont know why, its just my reputation not to be a studious freak. but i think thanks to the 2 of them and a few others, im turning into one. not that its a bad thing, but as i said, a reputation's at stake.

ohwell, i guess its just me. like ****** said, i have to learn to survive without friends. but i doubt i can do it. im the kind who can never ever live without friends around, without people i know i can trust, and without anyone to lean on.

took me a long time to decide whether to post this something else, but i decided to do it another time. i just cant put down my pride to really let every secret of me out. but i'll try, and one day i shall succeed. afterall, either i tell or it bursts. either way they'll come out.

COLOUR my world @ 1:01 PM