Tuesday, July 11, 2006
2 years back, there was team selections. 7 of us were trying out for 5 places in the team. 5 of them were a year older than me, and the other wasnt quite as good because of a past injury.
and there was me. struggling to make it into the team. out of the 5 seniors, 4 were definitely in, while the other was around my standard. coach was already telling me, he would give priority to her, because its her last year. i was disappointed, but i had no choice. he's my coach, he has to make difficult choices too, and i dont want to make things difficult for him.
they won first, she got her trophy and the title, while i got nothing. no doubt, i was jealous. but this didnt affect our friendship and relationship whatsoever. i respected coach's decision to put her into the team.
then this year, they increased the competitors per team from 5 to 6. once again i was frustrated as i thought about last year. it didnt make sense that everything is just against me. ive got no leadership positions nor awards or whatever. why was i such a loser?
this year there were around 10 people fighting for 6 places. out of these 10, 7 had great potential. the standards were rather close. again, coach had to make a very hard decision. it was then decided that i would kick out my close friend and junior. she was sad of course, and so was i. neither of us wanted to kick each other out, but we both wanted to compete. it was hard, for both of us, and the rest of the team too.
sometimes, even if someone appears not to bother, she still does. she was rather affected by that, and it saddened me. but i could not let this put me down. i have a responsibilty of doing my best in the competition and not let my team mates down. i cried with her. we hugged and cried together. because i felt so bad. and i know she did too.
we didnt get first, and of course i was sad. thinking about how i could have done last year made the situation even worse. but there's really nothing i can do about it
this is what a true sportsman has to go through. rejection. even when the world turns against you, it cant make you quit. you set your heart down to it, you go out there, do your thing and shine. you think for the team, not just your friends or yourself. you have to learn how to accept rejection, and reject others. of course, its impossible not to be affected at all, but you simply have to learn to accept things for what it is. its for the team's sake.
which is the reason why i will despise them when she really does that. i dont want to despise the 2 of you.
please, im begging you, dont make me
COLOUR
my world @ 9:25 PM
